Eat a dick, dude. But make sure you dip it in this first.

A friend sent this to me, and I'm sharing it here as a public service for all y'all concerned your condiments aren't masculine enough.

Problem solved, people: Manly. Sausage. Meat. "STUFFED FULL OF MEAT," even. ("Engorged" with meat. "Swollen. Turgid." "Tumescent?")

Hell, just dip your dick directly into it.

That said? That shit sounds DELICIOUS. Too bad I can't eat it -- curse my troublesome vagina.

Also, blow me, sour cream is my spirit animal. But again, vagina. Woe. I'm just not MANLY enough to hang with this new concocktion, so I'm relegated to bitch-baby sour cream.