On #WhyIWrite

I just learned it's National Day on Writing, so writers are writing about #WhyIWrite. 

So. 

1. It keeps me from masturbating constantly in an asylum somewhere. (Also, I've never looked into it, but the really good asylums are probably expensive.)
2. I am a filthy attention whore and every "like" is like being tenderly and lovingly fingered by Jesus.
3. I have almost no other skills.
4. You weirdos seem to enjoy it.
5. I don't know how NOT to write.