"Hi! My name is [huh?], my name is [what?]..."

My username on OkCupid is SmugWrites, but with my actual name.

The first line of my profile is, "Hi, I'm Smug." (Actual name.)

So obviously I get a message this morning: "Hi I'm ben,what's your name?"

Half an hour later, Ben sends a follow-up: "?" (Yep. Just the question mark.)

I reported this to a teacher friend who summed it up nicely: "Ben doesn't read for comprehension."

Y'all didn't need to hear this.

I know it's a common name, but it still amuses my brain sometimes when I talk to my coworker Rob and vividly remember a very different Rob who really (REALLY) liked hearing his name in combination with "Fuck me harder."

I really wish I'd said that because I'm super smooth in bed and intrinsically attuned to my partner's needs. But really, the first time I said it I was just bored. Thankfully most orders a woman gasps while hovering around orgasm sound fairly sexy -- I could've said "Let's get pancakes later, Rob" in that voice and it probably would've helped him along. But I'm glad he was happy, and it got me to my destination as well.