What I was trying to text to a friend: "I would have to punch you in the nuts."
How Autocorrect tried to help when I typed too fast: "I would have to punch you in the bird."
Then: "I would have to punch you in the bits."
I mean... both of those DO work, even if "bird" is one I've only ever heard my grandfather use. Way to have my back, Autocorrect.
It's freezing in my office today, and my hands are particularly cold. So I've been sitting with my left hand between my thighs while my right hand works the mouse (not a euphemism).
But I AM also bopping along to shitty pop music. With my hand between my legs.
I am a professional.
Also, though...I'm not gonna lie, it doesn't feel BAD. But it's really just to warm my hands.
Mostly.
Like 80%.
