"Go on, take the money and run."

Wait, what? There's a woman shaped like me on a magazine cover? A fitness magazine cover?

The hell? Is that even legal? Holy shit, is the world ending?

I'd already been feeling fairly decent about my body lately...but THIS?

Damn, I'm an American woman whose self-esteem seems to be hovering around normal -- someone better send out a rep from Corprate to shut that shit down.

That's probably why there are ads inside the magazine, just to remind me that I am, in fact, too big for my britches.

Captain Picard never logged his calories.

Diet and fitness challenge with friends, Day 1: There is no cheese on this salad and everything is stupid and tastes like tragedy with a dressing of baby unicorn tears and I'm still menstruating and if you don't hear from me again it's because I died of cheeselessness and injustice.