My orgasm: "It's handled."

I would like this to happen to me in the very near future.

I can't figure out how to embed it because everything (read: ABC) is dumb, but here: This is a scene from last night's episode of Scandal, and I am coveting the experience HARD.

I'm just gonna send the guy this video like it's office training material. Except the office is my body, and "You bettah WORK." (Ahem. I apologize for that.)

If Scott Foley ever grabbed my hair and put his mouth on that part of my neck, we wouldn't have even made it into the apartment -- I would have just pulled up the dress and ridden him like we were in the Hallway Tour de France. And I'm not ashamed to admit that watching him do...THAT to Olivia, even just for a tragically fleeting moment, produced an actual tingle. Kerry Washington gives great sex face.

Don't judge me, we all have our deal. Mine just happens to involve being occasionally slapped on the ass with a fashionable leather glove by a trained assassin. Whatevs.

#Scandal #TGIT #TeamJake

Busta Shonda Rhimes

Worth revisiting as I wrap up my Shonda Rhimes book review:

"You don't get to call me a whore. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what YOU broke."

This construct really evolved by the time it got to Olivia Pope: "I am not a toy you can play with when you're bored or lonely or horny. If you want me, EARN me!

Goddamn right, ladies. Testify.
(BTW, this is not a one-sided notion. I certainly hope I've earned the men I've had relationships with and have never taken them for granted. Ha ha, GRANTed... See what I did there?)

A woman's right to shoes/"It's blamin' men, hallelujah!"

One more on last night's yoga class:

It was all women in the class, and at one point the instructor had us rotate our ankles, because "a lot of your acupressure points for hormonal issues are in your ankles. Makes sense, doesn't it? No wonder we have those issues, men make us wear those high heels!"

Ahem.

1. You don't even wear high heels, Hippie, I can tell. You wear Birkenstocks if you wear shoes at all. You just walk around on a groovy hemp-based cloud.

2. No man has ever MADE me wear anything. I wear heels because I'm 2 feet tall and chubby, so if and when I CHOOSE put on heels, I'm taller, and my legs and ass look AMAZING, and they add bonus sway to my Olivia Pope strut. Do I wear heels to attract men by tricking them into thinking I'm sexy? Absolutely. But they don't MAKE me. (And yeah, I know I've been raised by male-controlled media to think all this is true, but...I mean, it's true. Heels make me feel sexy and bad-ass. Blow me, Birkenstock.)

3. Ever leave heels on for a guy? That right there is how you get pancakes after.

#HellOnHeels

A woman's right to shoes/"It's blamin' men, hallelujah!"

One more on last night's yoga class:

It was all women in the class, and at one point she had us rotate our ankles, because "a lot of your acupressure points for hormonal issues are in your ankles. Makes sense, doesn't it? No wonder we have those issues, men make us wear those high heels!"

Ahem.

1. You don't even wear high heels, Hippie, I can tell. You wear Birkenstocks if you wear shoes at all. You just walk around on a groovy hemp-based cloud.

2. No man has ever MADE me wear anything. I wear heels because I'm 2 feet tall and chubby, so if and when I CHOOSE put on heels, I'm taller, and my legs and ass look AMAZING, and they add bonus sway to my Olivia Pope strut. Do I wear heels to attract men by tricking them into thinking I'm sexy? Absolutely. But they don't MAKE me. (And yeah, I know I've been raised by male-controlled media to think all this is true, but...I mean, it's true. Heels make me feel sexy and bad-ass. Blow me, Birkenstock.)

3. Ever leave heels on for a guy? That right there is how you get pancakes after.

#HellOnHeels