My orgasm: "It's handled."

I would like this to happen to me in the very near future.

I can't figure out how to embed it because everything (read: ABC) is dumb, but here: This is a scene from last night's episode of Scandal, and I am coveting the experience HARD.

I'm just gonna send the guy this video like it's office training material. Except the office is my body, and "You bettah WORK." (Ahem. I apologize for that.)

If Scott Foley ever grabbed my hair and put his mouth on that part of my neck, we wouldn't have even made it into the apartment -- I would have just pulled up the dress and ridden him like we were in the Hallway Tour de France. And I'm not ashamed to admit that watching him do...THAT to Olivia, even just for a tragically fleeting moment, produced an actual tingle. Kerry Washington gives great sex face.

Don't judge me, we all have our deal. Mine just happens to involve being occasionally slapped on the ass with a fashionable leather glove by a trained assassin. Whatevs.

#Scandal #TGIT #TeamJake

Damn, Graham!

DAMN, girl!

I might actually have to buy Sports Illustrated and support my people.

#preach

 

 

Not half-ass. FULL ass.

I'll admit, most days I half-ass my appearance for work. I'm generally OK looking, so I let my hair air dry and don't give a lot of thought to my clothes or makeup. I'm going to work -- they don't pay me to be pretty, and there's no one here I want to get naked with.

But today I'm going out after work, and my God I'm cute when I give a damn. (And when my more fashionable friends hand-picked my entire outfit when we went shopping that time.)

Rebel Wilson's "relevant and dope" new fashion line

Via Cosmopolitan: Rebel Wilson's New Fashion Line Is Here — and It's Amazing

I actually don't get the appeal of Rebel Wilson as an actor. I don't think she's as funny as everyone else seems to think she is.

BUT.

This line really is cute. I felt bad that I didn't like a lot of the stuff Melissa McCarthy made, and it was SO cost-prohibitive. (You know you're fucked when something's at Nordstrom.) But Torrid? I might be able to hang with Torrid. And OMG, the model is the CUTEST.

Full disclosure: Depending on the week, I am one or two sizes away from "plus size," and don't believe it should be a thing. Clothes should just come in sizes. But I love seeing more options being made available, especially cute, affordable ones with adorable models.

"So you want everybody to go to the mall...today?"

At a mall entrance, steeling myself to run fashion- and beauty-related errands: "Alright. Let's get this bullshit over with."

#BestGirlEver

#LetsGoToTheMall

Quotable Kaling

"Since I am not model-skinny, but also not super fat and fabulously owning my hugeness, I fall into that nebulous 'normal American woman' size that legions of fashion stylists detest. For the record, I'm a size 8 (this week, anyway). Many stylists hate that size because, I think, to them, it shows that I lack the discipline to be an ascetic or the confident sassy abandon to be a total fatty hedonist. They're like: pick a lane! Just be so enormous that you need to be buried in a piano, and dress accordingly."

-- Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)

Get it, Sookie. GET IT.

Via Forbes Woman: How Melissa McCarthy's All-Sizes Clothing Line Hopes To Revolutionize Fashion