At least he didn't say I'm "a full-on Monet."

First OkCupid message from a 19-year-old: "If a thousand painters from the last 200,000 years got together and decided to paint a picture, their creation wouldn't be as beautiful as you!" 

Wow...I guess it's better than just "hi"? 

Actually, with that many painters working on it, that painting would probably be pretty busted, so it probably WOULDN'T be as pretty as I am. I don't think I'm "beautiful," but I'm probably cuter than Picasso and Renoir getting into a slapfight while Jackson Pollock just goes batshit and sloshes around on the canvas. So points to you, Toddler.

Popular. I'm gonna be pop-uuu-lar...

I filled out the wordy bits of the OkCupid profile first, no photos. 

When I added pics, in the 10 minutes it took to arrange them, I got something like 18 "likes." 

Pfft. I'm adorable. 

P.S. A half hour later, four intro messages, one from a faceless stranger who called me "beautiful" and added "take it anyway you want." 

#BasicallyGisele 

Is there another way I could take "beautiful?" Do I have less of a command on English than I give myself credit for? I guess it could mean, "I want to put my parts in your parts, and I assume calling you 'beautiful' will help. I smell the needy." Oh, wait! Did you mean I should take your dick "anyway" I want? Yeah, that's how I'm gonna interpret that.

P.P.S. The end of my self-summary: "I don't take this site seriously enough to pay for it, so if you 'liked' my profile, I can't see it, sorry! (But at least I'll be able to tell who actually reads the profile and who's just hot for impish eyes on a bottle-blonde.)"