Family rally cry? Family rally cry.

I know you guys aren't on my side with the country music, but I think we can all agree Pistol Annies have been reading my journal as we approach my family's Christmas dinner. This is my new favorite song to sing in the car. (Shut up, I am SUPER hot when I have twang.)

"Well, Daddy's reading propaganda
And he's talkin' 'bout the end of days
Well, cheers to the vodka Mama's been sneakin',
Let's all gather 'round and pray.

"So I snuck out behind the red barn
And I took myself a toke
Since everybody here hates everybody here
Hell, I might as well be their joke.

"I'm gonna dance up on the table
Singing 'This Little Light of Mine'
God gave it to me, what good's it gonna do me
If I don't, by God, let it shine?

"Hide your tattoo,
Put on your Sunday best,
Pretend you're not a mess,
Be the happy family in the front pew..."

"Hush hush, don't you dare say a word
Hush hush, don't you know the truth hurts
Hush hush, when push comes to shove,
It's best to keep it hush hush."

Miranda Lambert is my new BFF

a) This is basically how I imagine myself looking and sounding when I sing this song in my car. (Delusions of WHAT, now?) 

b) I am going to need that dress, like, IMMEDIATELY. Damn, girl -- HIPS. Let's be BFFs and share clothes. I would wear the similar hell out of that. 

c) Now that they're divorcing, can I also bang Blake Shelton?

"Hide your crazy and start actin' like a lady..."

I am obsessed with this song -- it's my new Sassy Strut/car singing/Pull Yourself Together song. In addition:

a) Miranda Lambert looks better unkempt than I do when I bring my capital-A game. I need more eye makeup, like, immediately.

b) I'm pretty sure I've HAD this conversation with my mother.

c) You can write it off because it's country music, but it's a bawdy, curvy, big-haired blonde sangin' 'bout drankin', and that there is some of my favorite comfort music. (For obvious reasons.) This song is the twangy, guitar-driven equivalent of "Conceal, don't feel" -- Miranda Lambert is basically Elsa, and you KNOW that movie would've been way better with whiskey and pills.