Her axle is decidedly not draggin'.

DAMN, girl!

Three things:

1. Looks like I'll have to go buy Cosmo for the first time in 100 years.

2. I love how the cover encourages women to "UP YOUR CASH FLOW"...right next to her boobs.

3. I can't WAIT to get my new 2016 ass. I really hope it arrives in time for New Year's.

Via E! Online: Miranda Lambert Still Figuring Out "What Happened" During Her Marriage to Blake Shelton That Led to Divorce

Miranda Lambert is my new BFF

a) This is basically how I imagine myself looking and sounding when I sing this song in my car. (Delusions of WHAT, now?) 

b) I am going to need that dress, like, IMMEDIATELY. Damn, girl -- HIPS. Let's be BFFs and share clothes. I would wear the similar hell out of that. 

c) Now that they're divorcing, can I also bang Blake Shelton?