More wisdom from people funnier than me.

"The whole world could be cured with enough cake and antipsychotics."
-- The Bloggess, Furiously Happy

The Berenstain Bears and the Illiterate Cheesemonger

Conundrum: An otherwise fine, fairly attractive man on OkCupid sent me a message, but under the "favorite books" prompt in his profile, he just wrote, "I'm not into books."

Ordinarily, immediate grounds for dismissal: "If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck them."

BUT...He works with specialty cheeses.

You GUYS. What if he's a cheeseMONGER?!

To his credit, among other things, his message said, "I'll start reading one now if it will help."

Well played, Cheese Guy.

Also, yes, it would help: War and Peace, please. Make it snappy.

The Elusive Self-Esteem Boost and a Therapeutic Three-fer

If you've never had a day where you look in the mirror and think, "GodDAMN, I look good," I highly recommend it.

Spring and summer clothes and weather really are my wheelhouse. I'll also be buying more of this new makeup (aptly made by Tarte) and thanking the gods of hair for blessing my rolled-outta-bed coif today.

Sometimes a plan just comes together, and today it did, in the form of my unplanned FINE ass.

"Give it up, boys and girls. Admit it. I look GOOD!" (Don't judge me, Bette is my jam.)

P.S. I went to therapy tonight, and one of the first things she said to me, unprompted, was, "You look wonderful!" So there you go, y'all -- my cuteness is verified by a licensed professional. (My brain went full Cady-Heron-in-the-black-dress: "I KNOW, right?!")

P.P.S. Tonight's agenda: Therapy, takeout food, and Scandal. So basically a therapeutic three-fer.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_Sb7PpLoS0]

Cameron Frye is my spirit animal

You know what's probably a bad sign leading up to a first date?

When your friend asks to hang out Saturday and you say, "Dammit. I have a date. But I think I'd have more fun hate-watching Fear and eating takeout with you."

In the words of Cameron Frye, "OK, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go...I'll go. SHIT!"

The Continuing Wisdom of #TGIT

"I don't know how to do this thing you do, where you make me feel like crap and there are no words coming out of your mouth."

-- Amelia Shepherd, Grey's Anatomy

#TGIT #BeenThere

I probably won't end up naked, though.

I'm certainly not the first to observe this, but going to a job interview is like going on a first date.

Like, "This, right here? The smooth, curled hair and the makeup and the dress and the tights? Yeah, I will NEVER look like this when shit gets real."

I should be able to interview in jeans and a plain white t-shirt, with wet-from-the-shower hair tossed up in a half-ass ponytail, wearing sunscreen and Chapstick as makeup. That is how I will look if I work for/date you.*

It's like Chris Rock said: "You can’t get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting THEM -- you’re meeting their representative!"

Quotable Shonda

"Fat runs toward me and jumps up onto my body and clings there. Like it knows that it has found a home. Like it wants to be with its people."
-- Shonda Rhimes, Year of Yes

Not at all what I'm thinking about at work...

Monica: "Pheebs, you know what I'm thinking?"
Phoebe: "...How it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?"
Monica: "No. Although NOW that's what I'm thinking."

Quotable Kaling

"Since I am not model-skinny, but also not super fat and fabulously owning my hugeness, I fall into that nebulous 'normal American woman' size that legions of fashion stylists detest. For the record, I'm a size 8 (this week, anyway). Many stylists hate that size because, I think, to them, it shows that I lack the discipline to be an ascetic or the confident sassy abandon to be a total fatty hedonist. They're like: pick a lane! Just be so enormous that you need to be buried in a piano, and dress accordingly."

-- Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)