"No offense, but I prefer RED flags."

I'm clearly not the most politically correct person. 

BUT. 

Here are some actual, verbatim things I've seen in OkCupid profiles, and I can't believe anyone wrote them. You can THINK whatever you want, but...you wrote it down. Where people can SEE it. People into whom you are endeavoring to put your penis.

1. "I'm affectionate (alright, maybe a little cuddle friendly...I'm trying not to be too limp wristed here)."

2. "I'm german, irish and native american (indian, but the dreamcatching, raindancing, tomahawk-chopping kind, not hindian)."

3. "I prefer Caucasian women attractive and in shape."

4. "My taste is specific to girls who are described as either thin, petite, or athletic...sorry, but big girls are not within the range of my interest. No offense intended, but only Caucasians or Asians."